January 25, 2011

Queer Review: Chick Comics

First there was Homosexuality: Legitimate Alternative Deathstyle by Dick Hafer. In modern times, anti-queer comic lovers can get there fix from Chick Publications by Jack T. Chick, which is just beyond words. The comic takes place in the sort of world where the Homosexual Menace is Trying to Take Over the World and Everyone Is In On It. There are gay cops who beat up innocent Christian, the media engages in shameless gay propaganda, and "blood terrorism" can be engaged in by any gay man who gives blood.

I would also like to point out that most of the extreme propaganda the comic is actually, I think somewhat dangerous, particularly in regards to the misinformation contained within the comics regarding AIDS.

Lets break down the three comics listed under "Homosexuality".

Sin City (2001)
The comic starts out with a man protesting a gay pride parade while holding a sign stating "Homosexuality is a Sin" while a bear leather-man urges the float he's standing on to run over the protester. Fortunately, some obviously gay cops (they all have pierced ears) intervene to protect the pride parade and start beating up the anti-gay protester, while shouting "You Devil! Nobody stops my parade".

Later, while lying in a hospital bed, recovering from his sound thrashing, he's told that he's being charged with a hate crime for interfering with the parade. The man (now identified as Malcolm) is also told that the charges will be dropped if he changes and becomes less hateful and bigoted.

The prosecuter introduces him to Reverend Ray who claims to be gay and is presented with a demon/ghost looking creature named Zanah hanging out on his shoulder. Reverend Ray of course tries to make inroads in changing Malcolm into a loving Christian.

After a bit of a struggle, in which one of Malcolm friends shows up to recite a highly stylized version of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, Reverend Ray finds himself breaking down and admitting that Malcolm was right all along and then begging God for salvation.

And the Moral of the Story is: Getting the stuffing beat out of you by gay cops is a great way to win converts for Jesus. No really! The world would clearly be a much better place if fundamentalists just let themselves get beat up more often!

Doom Town (1991)
This one starts out at a pro-gay rally. The speakers at the rally impresses upon the crowd and media the importance of funding for AIDS research and suggest that if not enough funding is received, all gay men should donate blood.

In spite of the fact that not all gay men have AIDS and that the Red Cross started testing blood donations for AIDS in 1985, this is considered "blood terrorism", "cold blooded Murder" and would guarantee that the blood supply of the country would become infected with AIDS. Clearly, this is because of the satanic evilness that exists in homosexual's blood that is so powerful, it can not only fool the Red Cross's tests, it can also infect blood donations from people who aren't gay.

A lone man named Charlie who was watching the rally prays to God for the ability to speak to someone. When he's asked what he thinks of the rally by another individual, Charlie launches into a rather detailed telling of Sodom and Gomorrah. This one includes the rather lovely image of a large hair man saying to a small child "it's that time again".

At the end of the telling of Sodom of Gomorrah, the person listening to Charlie breaks down and converts to Christianity while begging God for forgiveness.

And the Moral of the Story: Homosexual blood is dangerous and powerful, but not as powerful as some good old Sodom and Gomorrah.

Uninvited (2011)
This story is about a group of gay men suffering from AIDS in a group home and Nurse Clara, who is attending to them. The men and Nurse Clara argue over how AIDS was started. This argument results in Clara telling the men about how when she was 6 years old she suffered a brutal rape and nearly died. Afterwards, she claimed that she nearly became a lesbian but was only saved by God's love.

Clara then asks the men if any of them had been molested as children and they all admit that they were. Nurse Clara then tells the men the story of Sodom and Gomarrah as apparently there are never enough tellings of Sodom and Gomarrah to go around for everyone.

After telling the story, two of the men allow themselves to be saved, while another two soundly reject Jesus and "die in their sins". The next day Nurse Clara declares that homosexuals have been trying to create another Sodom and Gomarrah here today in America.

And the moral of the story is: If you're raped or sexually molested as a child, your choices are either to become an AIDS infected Lesbian/Homosexual OR to ask for, and accept, the eternal love and salvation that only God and Jesus can provide.
This is the same God by the way who:
-Destroyed entire cities and countries in flame and brimstone
-Let loose plague and disease (AIDS) as punishment for sexual deviancy
-Let loose some other plagues of gnats, flies, frogs, a river turning to blood, diseased livestock, boils, locusts, darkness, *and* killed the firstborns of an entire nation, all because the leader of that nation would not free some slaves
-Flooded the entire world killing everyone but the few people who happened to have been within walking distance of the only Arc that could withstand the flood.
Yep, that all sounds like the sorts of actions a loving and forgiving God would regularly partake in.

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